27 February 2009

What would you have done?

It was hot when I was planning on leaving town this afternoon. On reaching the bus terminal I was the first and only passenger. School was out but no-one seemed to be in any hurry to go home and I knew it would be a while before the bus filled up, which would entail sitting in the dark and the dust and the heat and the fumes that are integral to the building's design. (Whoever designed the terminal should be made to sit, interminably, on a bus that is waiting to fill ) I digress. I decided to go back into town and buy a soda from the nearest rum shop with a small veranda, that offers the chance of some breeze, a place to people watch and a nicotine opportunity. Now, I know this is a rum shop and can get a little rumbustious but everyone is friendly and we are accustomed going there and being outside is different from being inside. I buy the soda and take myself outside, sip, inhale, relax. Wonderful. It was only on hearing a raised, male, repetitive voice, from the opposite end of the veranda, that I realised all was not well. He seemed to be remonstrating a beautiful woman for something she had or had not done. When he pelted his half full drink in the drain, by way of demonstrating how vexed he was, I knew this was turning nasty. Quite a few people passing, slowed and turned to watch as he put his hands around her throat and shook her hard, but none stopped. He propelled her down my end of the veranda at the point where I was really hoping someone from inside would hear what was happening and come and restrain him. He was big, I am small and his wife/ girlfriend, whilst taller, was mute and passive, as he pushed hard and prodded hard and cursed harder. I knew where this was going, you could see the extreme anger about to surface, like milk when it is about to boil over. I felt like I had to catch it before it was too late. The veranda is small, I had my back to the wall and they were about six inches in front of me. He had her pinned to the railings. I cannot deny that I did want to up and leave at that point, but it just seemed so wrong. I heard a very small voice say "Excuse me", so I tried a little harder and shouted, in my best 'you are a very naughty child' voice, "EXCUSE ME. " and I hoped it would provide a little diversion for her to escape while he focused, as he did, eventually, on me. The response was what I should have expected and, thankfully, nothing more . "SHUT YOUR @#%&IN @%^*" Ah, yes, well, I did as I was told but not before going back into the shop and alerting them to what was happening and then, quietly, headed back to the bus. I was shaken. I have no idea what happened after I left, perhaps everyone laughed and ended up friends but I don't think so, was it a stupid thing to do, drawing attention to myself in an already volatile situation? Did my actions change anything? I doubt it. I write this post having read this just recently, I hate any form of confrontation and much prefer to live a quiet life but sometimes, I have to speak.
What would you have done?

14 comments:

  1. I think you did exactly the right thing. You bravely tried your voice and presence which didn't work, and then alerted the owner. Sad. Let's hope she escaped in one piece.

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  2. You did the best thing you could have done without seriously endangering your own self. And I thank you for it.

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  3. I agree with BlissHill. In those circumstances, I believe I would have done the same as you.
    m.a.

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  4. I agree that you have done well! I would have tried a somewhat different approach, but I am both much older and physically different - a blonde naturally looking lost. So i would have pretended I did not pay attention to what was the dynamic between them, but clumsily (yet with a naive smile)demanded that they - particularly he - assist me in some way: pointing a direction to some place etc. Something that might serve as an effective distraction.

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  5. I also agree you did the right thing. It was brave of you to call attention to yourself in that situation. And after that alerting the owner was what I would think is the most responsible way to handle it.

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  6. I have no idea what I would've done. It is so scary, with people getting killed now when they try to part fights. I think you did your best. In fact, I am in awe that you even spoke.

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  7. Thank you one and all, I have to say that I surprised myself, I wasn't being brave, the words just popped out. When I walked away I kept thinking how really stupid I was to get involved, like GG says, you never know what the reaction is going to be, still, I hope it did diffuse the situation and I really hope that she finds a way to walk away too.

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  8. You did a very brave thing that many of us would have been too scared to try. Thanks for pointing us to the link in this post. It touched a raw nerve with me and reminded me how far I've come. Thank you xx

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  9. What a story ... It may have been nasty for you and certainly for the other girl. Never-the-less, you have painted a picture of a relatively small piece of time that was supposed to be relaxing, that turned into a very unconformable situation. Portraying to us readers, an event that I’m sure you will remember for a long time. - Will

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  10. you did a very brave thing... "getting involved" is not something people do anymore because of the risk to our own necks...

    i live in st. vincent... the last time there was a major altercation in a bus terminal, a young woman was dragged off a bus and brutally dismembered... yes you did a brave thing, and may even have, somehow, diffused the situation - even a little bit...

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  11. Welcome Will and Will.
    St. Vincent Will, yes,if someone had asked me what I would do in that kind of situation I would have said I don't know, but if he had had a cutlass then I don't think I would have got involved. No one really knows how they will react until these things happen.It does make me wonder what has happened to our ability to reason?

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  12. best thing to so is call the police and report someone disturbing the peace.

    more stuff that can be done. have a look at the video
    http://wikigrenada.com/Abuse_Action_Plan

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  13. Anonymous, thank you for drawing my attention to this video which I have never seen here in Grenada. I am in awe of what Hazel is doing, a remarkable woman. I agree with a lot of the observations that are made in the video. I also found it interesting that you posted this comment anonymously, I also chose anonymity in not calling the police, rightly or wrongly. Where ever we are in the world, in my opinion, the police do not like to get involved in 'domestic disputes' anymore than those that witness them. At the end of the day our behaviour is learned and for any society to change for the better,it requires progress in education to free people from poverty, in order to bring about a more beneficial lifestyle for all. Thank you once again for your comment and may we in Grenada work together towards a better future.

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  14. I think that you have done advantageously. Actually I have no idea what I would've done. I think you did your best. In point of fact, I am in reverence that you even spoke.

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