27 April 2009

Who Are You?

Do you know who you are? I ask this sincerely. I am genuinely interested to know if there are people who can stand back and say, with total confidence, "Yes, that is who I am." I have probably left this a bit late, this delving into what makes us who we are. I have been somewhat surprised by the characters I have discovered residing within me, not at all who I imagined myself to be. I am also hesitant to post this, in case they cart me off to the pink house.
I knew I should not have taken those Bloglines Quizzes too seriously.

Allow me to introduce to you, in no particular order;
  • The Bossy Bitch.
She is my least favorite self. She is always right, likes to get things done, her way being the best and only way, is reasonably informed but intolerant. She finds it impossible to comprehend that other people do not think like her. She is very quick, can think on her feet and come up with solutions to problems, that are not related to her, at the drop of a hat. She has a sense of urgency, a judgemental attitude towards what she believes to be right or wrong and is insensitive to others when they cannot read her mind. She is an extremely bad communicator believing that everyone knows what she is thinking and what she requires from them. She gets upset when others do not work as hard as she does and exhausts herself because she believes that she is the only one who can 'do it right' and as a consequence, finds it difficult to delegate. She is very direct in her language and some of you may have met her already in the 'comment box' on your blog. I can only apologise.

  • The Artist
I like her, she is who I aspire to being. She is hard working, focused, tuned in to an energy that she is delighted to be a vehicle for. She is acutely observant and quiet. She feels everything from a warm golden glow in her belly. Nature speaks to her. The one thing she needs above all else is to be undisturbed whilst working. The slightest interruption can throw her off and she vanishes, just like that. It sometimes takes quite a while to draw her back out. If everything is going well her spirit sings, when challenges present themselves, she stays with it until a solution is found. She has an open mind and an insatiable desire to explore the work of, and be inspired by, other artists. She is non judgemental, embraces the opportunity to learn new things and is constantly seeking out fresh ideas. She associates her creativity with her spiritual beliefs that she prefers to keep private and sacred, in order that she does not lose them .She is brave and honest and true.

  • The Dreamer
The Dreamer is ever present, so much so that she can take over completely. She sees good in everything and everybody. She has no sense of time, self preservation or urgency. She allows her thoughts to float on an ocean of possibilities, each one replacing the next as they ebb and flow. She has so many of them that it is like watching a beautiful continuous movie with a wonderful soundtrack that you never want to end. Anything is possible in her world, where lives can be lived that would otherwise be impossible. She does not actually do anything, she simply dreams about it and is happy with that. She loves journeys and watching the world go by, she likes watching people and imagining lives for them. She does not like conversation or any interaction from outside. The only way to shift her is by an interruption from the real world and even then she is reluctant to let go.

  • The Scaredy Cat
I have no idea when this self arrived. She annoys me intensely. She likes to undermine everything. She believes that all will end in disaster and she is negative about everything. It is she that has no confidence, turns everything sour, dismisses all creative possibilities as worthless, and would prefer to stay inside with the curtains drawn. She is miserable, unsociable, hates my clothes, my appearance, my lifestyle. She constantly harks back to previous mistakes as a reason for not attempting any new ventures. She likes to reside in the gut , where her anxiety can best claw and gnaw away at any attempts to dismiss her. She loves me to satisfy her cravings for cigarrettes and alcohol and then berate me about it at 3a.m. She is easily got rid of by taking a brisk early morning walk before she is awake or, simply remembering to breathe.
  • Warrior Woman
Now here is someone who never fails to surprise and amaze me. Warrior Woman does not make an appearance very often but she is always there whan I need her most and she has never let me down. She feels as old as time itself but with a vibrant energy and wisdom that I know I can trust implicitly. She moves fast and instinctively and always for the common good. It was she that spoke on the veranda that day, she that works to protect, guard and nourish. She is a fighter, there is no doubt about it, a force not to be reckoned with. When she appears and makes her move there can be no argument or hesitation. This is what must be. When all seems lost, when life takes a dangerous turn, it is she who arrives armed with the resources to rescue, fight for and protect. She leaves just as swiftly as she arrives, leaving me breathless , thankful and astonished.

  • Little Miss Ants in Her Pants
As the title suggests, this one hates to be still. She likes to be constantly on the move. She hates to take the time to read instructions for example, and would much rather go ahead and assemble something without them. She likes to walk very fast, taking long strides, to always be in front to get to wherever she is going, but dislikes arrival. She loves to dance. She likes to force and work physically hard, not stopping for breath. She loves adrenalin and the rush that it gives her. She and Bossy Bitch work quite well together, Miss Ants in Her Pants is also bad at communicating with others because she cannot get the words out fast enough. She hates to be in one place for long, she needs constant stimulation and a diversity of things to do. She loves nothing better than to be working on more than one thing at a time, but seldom finishes anything. She has a myriad projects that the Artist would be more than happy to help her with, but Miss Ants in Her Pants is already off and running towards the next one. She loves adventure and taking risks. She has an aversion to authority, responsibility and conformity. She annoys people, almost as much as Bossy Bitch, but she is not intentionally annoying, she is just constantly searching for something, either that, or she is afraid that something will catch up with her. She puzzles me and The Dreamer doesn't like her at all.

There are more, but Miss Ants in Her Pants is getting twitchy because we have been sat here for so long. Scaredy Cat is trying to persuade me not to post this on the grounds that everyone will think I am mad. Fortunately, The Dreamer seems to have nodded off. Bossy Bitch is nowhere to be found, only being around when she feels that other people need organising, but The Artist is calling and I cannot refuse her.

8 comments:

  1. Oh, bless you!! This was such a joy to read. My selves would just love to spend time with yours. At least some of them, my Scaredy Cat is warning me not to gush too much.....
    xoxoxo

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  2. i recognize a few of these characters..the artist with her warm golden glow in her belly, and the dreamer and scared cat for me is the 'old self doubt monster' (how well i know those 3 am remonstrations). i'd add the optimist to many selves. no you're not crazy--you're crazy insightful!
    bytw, i loved the poem in the last post.

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  3. loved reading this :) im a scaredy cat at 3am in the morning

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  4. Peggy, your selves are most welcome, just leave the Scaredy Cat at home..

    Thanks Indigomar, I would have got to the Optimist but Miss Ants in her Pants had me off and running....

    D, I would never have thought it, but I am glad to be in such good company x

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  5. Yep, I see some of me here in each of these.

    Working on the self, is what Anne Frank called it.

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  6. that's 6 personalities wrapped up in one person!! wow!! I think i can best relate with dreamer, except for me, dreamer is coupled with schemer, who plots and ploys to make all them impossible dreams come true...

    and lately i've deveoped a penchant for antsiness-in the pants, coupled with a Hitler/Muolini of sorts: move it! move it! don't slow the pace! keep time! keep up!

    lol. thanx for this.

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  7. Ruthibelle, the really scary thing is, there are lots more ,but I obviously need a Schemer for Dreamer.
    No Extreme Fascists for me,as yet, but yours made me laugh...
    Interesting though isn't it?

    GG, PHEW, such a relief to know you're there with me on this one. I must read Anne Frank.

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  8. Ruthibelle, meant to say, 'antsiness', love it.

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